Hey, Phoenix! Read through this blog post

http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-right-tools-for-job.html

Zak breaks down some ways to interact with combat that are a little tricksier, a little bit more about setting your opponents up to be beat upon by your friends, et cetera.  Even if you don't use these ideas, they might help you think of ways that you can help in combat that won't expose you t large amounts of danger, preserving your freedom to heal others!

Appendix Meta-N

Wherein I collect a long list of links to other blogs wherein they list things they look to for D&D inspiration!

http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2011/12/best-d-comic-books-according-to-me.html

http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2012/01/appendix-s.html

http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2012/03/comic-book-villains-ripe-for-d.html

Mome Rath

(Stolen from Zak Sabbath, like so many things; Pathfinder conversion and in-world background by me)

This ill-tempered beast's tiny, bloodshot eyes glare angrily above a mouth filled with sharp tusks. It resembles a wild pig, possessing the curved tusks and rich hairless green skin of Satan as depicted in Michael Pacher's Wolfgang und der Teufel.

Mome Rath CR 2 XP 600 N Medium magical beast Init +0; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent;Perception +6  DEFENSE AC 14, touch 10, flat-footed 14 (+4 natural) hp 20 (2d10+9) Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +1 Defensive Abilities ferocity, feeding on failure  OFFENSE Speed 40 ft., swim 15 ft. Melee gore +5 (1d8+4)  STATISTICS Str 17, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 4 Base Atk +2; CMB +5; CMD 15 Feats Toughness Skills Perception +6, Swim +11; Skill Bonuses +8 Swim (can always take 10, can use the run action while swimming)  SPECIAL ABILITIES Ferocity (Ex)A creature with ferocity remains conscious and can continue fighting even if its hit point total is below 0. The creature is still staggeredand loses 1 hit point each round. The creature still dies when its hit point total reaches a negative amount equal to its Constitutionscore. Feeding on Failure (Su)Mome raths feed on failure. Any missed attack on a mome rath adds d4 to its hit points (these are permanent, not temporary). Rolling a critical failure when attacking a mome rath causes the mome rath to grow an extra set of tusks. giving the mome rath an extra attack per round for the rest of the encounter (use the same statistics as the gore attack, but these extra attacks are secondary attacks and so are at a +0 attack bonus).

ECOLOGY

Environment temperate or tropical forests
Organization solitary, pair, or group (3–8)
Treasure none

Mome raths bellow at the coming of danger and gnaw the bones of the dead in the fields where bodies lay burning.

Even more ill-tempered and dangerous than the boars they resemble, mome raths are omnivorous creatures common to the coast of the Two Kingdoms.

The mome rath's stubborn nature and habit of eating the failure of its enemies to make itself grow stronger makes it well suited as a warpet for certain folk, such as the ghostly Pharaoh of the Two Kingdoms.

A mome rath is four feet long and weighs 200 pounds.

Jadiliyya Fatalist Barbarian Archetype

{Stolen from Zak Sabbath, Pathfinder conversion and background fluff by me}

Amongst the nomads who maintain the old old ancient ways of Jadiliyya Fatalism, many character types are subtly influenced by the now long-forgotten religious role of the alskeltemsikh (“servant/slave of Fate”). This archetype represents a barbarian of this culture and religion, who gives emself up not to the wild ecstasies of passion and rage like other barbarians, but rather to that of their 'alas (the religious ecstasy of submission; in the Jadiliyya's case, that submission is to the whims of Fate).

Though the majnujin, in their madcap mercantile bohemia, are re-discovering the power of the alskeltemsikh, nearly all are far too urban to take up the mantle of the barbarian, leaving this archetype to be the sole domain of the nomads.

Whenever such a barbarian would normally gain anything related to rage (rage itself, rage powers, greater rage, tireless rage, and mighty rage; 14 times throughout their 20 levels), they instead roll 1d100 on the following table to determine their class features. Do what it says – there are also indicators of what to do if you re-roll that same result over again in places where that's hard to figure out. . . .

1-29: +1 to hit. Because fucking barbarian, hello?

30-45: +1 to all your saves. Getting wizardcontrolled gets old after a while.

46: Yes, you can have one axe in each hand, munchkin. Gain Two-Weapon Fighting as a bonus feat. If you re-roll this result, you gain Improved Two-Weapon Fighting; after that, gain Greater Two-Weapon Fighting. If you manage to continue rolling this result, gain one other feat in the Two-Weapon Fighting tree.

47-48: You're tough as jerky. +1 Constitution.

49-52: YOUR FATE IS TO DIE!!! You are extra motivated about killing really big things that fucked you up. If a creature of Large or greater size knocks you down to half or fewer hit points, you may summon your angriosity to draw two critical hit cards on a hit and choose one to take effect. This only works once per opponent. Unless you re-roll this result, then it works twice, or three times, etc etc.

53: Mmmm, I know this beast . . . . In any wilderness environment like that of your native land you will know whatever organic life has been there in the last 24 hours including all typical wandering monsters, and you know about anything that's been there in the last week on a successful Survival roll (DC 20). Re-roll this result and it extends to dungeons, then to cities, then to inorganic life. Then if you keep re-rolling you can always do the "everything in the last week" thing in the wilderness, then in dungeons. . . .

54: Your fate can now be clearly read: that thing you wanted? The Jewel of Carmathroq? The Map To the Pleasure Pits of Mazuun? The Spiked Club of Oool? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

55: You grunt and things listen. You gain a follower. Roll 1d12 on the following subtable:

1-3: Nerd: He is the opposite in many ways of you, talking like a weakling city-person and concerned about all sorts of things that aren't actually important, but he seems okay companionship for now

4-6: Sexy Sidekick: They are good with a bow, but often manipulative and tricksy!

7-9: Loose Cannon Wizard: 75% chance of being drunk at any given moment. Surprisingly, he retains the ability to cast spells when drunk (he must be a VERY good wizard), though his judgment and aim are less than you might hope. . . .

10-12: Ornery Critter: Good in a fight but it eats quite a bit and often pees on you to comic effect.

If you roll a 1-6, the character has 1 class level chosen by rolling 1d20:

1. Barbarian
2. Bard
3. Cleric
4. Druid
5. Fighter
6. Monk
7. Paladin
8. Ranger
9. Rogue
10. Sorcerer
11. Wizard
12. Alchemist
13. Cavalier
14. Gunslinger
15. Inquisitor
16. Magus
17. Oracle
18. Summoner
19. Witch
20. Antipaladin

If you roll a 7-9, the character is a 1^st-level sorcerer. If you roll a 10-12, roll 1d10:

1. Dire rat
2. Dog
3. Vulture
4. Giant centipede
5. Fire beetle
6. Mite (gremlin)
7. Poisonous frog
8. Warpony (horse)
9. Stirge
10. Viper (snake)

This npc cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. If you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to advance your pal one Hit Die.

56: "'Grrr?' GRRRRR!". You can intimidate hostile beasts of animal intelligence into accepting you as dominant so long as nobody in your party has attacked them. This functions like wild empathy (treat the level this feature is rolled as your first druid level for the purposes of this benefit), except that it mimics Intimidate instead of Diplomacy. If the roll succeeds, the creature will (usually) calm down. If it fails, you are at effectively unarmored, flat-footed AC the next round because you are really not scaring them there and are walking right up to the animal. Good luck with that. Re-rolling this result raises your AC by one if the charm offensive fails.

57: This not right. . . . You are totally used to tromping around in the wilderness. In any desert environment (or whatever other one you are a native of) you cannot be surprised and will always notice anyone coming at least 2 rounds away. Your experience with the landscape and the way it grows allows you to search a wilderness hex at twice the ordinary speed and if you are pursuing or being pursued through the wilderness you add your level, in feet, to your relative speed for purposes of determining who catches who. If you re-roll this, the expertise extends to all outdoor environments, re-roll again and it goes for dungeons, re-roll again and cities, again and it works in like the planes, re-roll again and you should probably just re-roll on this table until you get something different.

58: These pythons are not cosmetic. +1 Str.

59-60: Roll out the hogfat and corpsepaint. Ok: Take half an hour out of your busy schedule and eat the heart of an animal that you and your party (of 10 or fewer people) killed (a regular, nonmagic animal, though prehistoric animals and maybe some other weird monsters count at the GM's discretion). You yourself must have delivered the killing blow. After you do that, you gain the offensive strength of that creature for one hour (its attack types including number of attacks, attack bonuses, and damage) but are also kind of nuts and cannot speak except in short grunts (you can point). You can preserve the heart for as long as you want before doing this. Do this more than once per day and you will go completely crazy. Re-roll this result and the effect lasts an extra hour.

61: Slaughtermaster. You know exactly where to put it: +1 damage. If you roll this again it jumps to +3, then +5, +7 etc

62-63: Hearty motherfucker. +2 vs toxins, poisons and whatever other saves might be considered derivable from your general good health in the system you're using. +3 vs inebriation. Same bonuses again each time you re-roll this.

64-65: Smacktastic. Gain the Improved Bull Rush feat. If you re-roll this result, gain Greater Bull Rush. Further re-rolls give you the choice of another feat requiring Improved Bull Rush.

66: Human steamroller. Gain the Improved Overrun feat. If you re-roll this result, gain Greater Overrun. Further re-rolls give you your choice of another feat requiring Improved Overrun.

67: The ways of your people are murderous ways. You are now +2 to hit in 2 of the following situations: from horseback, in unarmed combat, or with a bow or crossbow. Your choice. If you eventually roll all of those and keep re-rolling this result, you start getting +2s to weird fighting situations you can make up, like fighting blind or on fire or whatever GM approval blah blah blah

68-69: Eye of the Deeply Uncivilized. +2 Intimidate; -1 Diplomacy/Bluff to charm or lie to fancies. Both the bonus and the penalty increase by like amount with each re-roll.

70-71: . . . but that day is not this day. Basically you can use the Shields Shall Be Splintered rule on a limb of your choice: A single hit that normally would have killed you just maimed you instead. You lose an arm below the elbow or leg below the knee, your choice. If you re-roll this you can "bank" another one or, if you've already lost a limb, the next time you get magically healed it comes back.

72-73: Headcrusher. Your crit range extends by one with any attack you make. Keep rolling this and it keeps extending.

74-75: Killed you a bar when you was only 3. You can now knock prone or shove (10') anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing the usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you the same advantage against creatures of any intelligence, then a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes, then vs people.

76-78: You are yet more metal than before. Your crit multiplier with any attack increases by one. Re-roll this: it continues increasing.

79: You hate heads. If you roll a natural 20 and then confirm the critical against something with a head in melee and its level/HD is equal to or less than yours, it does not have a head anymore. Re-rolling this means you can do it against things your level or one higher, then 2 higher, etc.

80-82: Enhanced Frazetta armor. You may add your Charisma bonus and Strength bonus to your AC when not wearing armor. If you have no Charisma bonus or Strength bonus then you are a fucking putz of a barbarian but treat this roll as if you just upped your Charisma by one. Re-rolling this means your Charisma goes up by one.

83-84: There's nothing wrong with them that you can't fix with your hands. . . . You do d6 damage unarmed and can choose to do lethal damage with unarmed strikes. Note that, unlike Improved Unarmed Strike, you are still considered unarmed (unless you have that feat, that is) and provoke an attack of opportunity. You go up one die each time you re-roll this.

85-86: Nelson is your middle name. . . . On a successful grapple you can hold anything whose Strength and Dexterity are both less than your Strength for a round automatically before it starts to get checks to escape. You get another round each time you re-roll this.

87-88: You are deeply used to being haunted by the ghosts of the fallen. You are immune to fear from any kind of undead and are +1 to save vs any kind of spooky undead special power by any kind of ethereal dead. +2 more each time you re-roll this.

89: Bah! It is nothing. You have 2 points of damage resistance to any kind of energy that is like the weather condition typical of the harsh environment in which you were spawned--like if you're from the desert, then heat does -2 to you, if you're from the arctic wastes, cold does -2 to you, if you come from a seagoing culture, then you take -2 from water damage.

90: Heedless charge. On the first round of any combat (and only on the first round) you may gamble any number of your hit points on an attack. If you hit--you do that much damage, if you miss, you take that much damage (a miss indicates your foe was able to set up to receive your charge). You must be in the first rank of combatants (i.e. nobody gets to soften them up or test them before you pick how much you're gambling.) Each time you re-roll this you get +1 damage to the attack.

91-92: You're so sick of dealing with these decadent merchants you've started to DIY it. When crafting weapons with Craft (weaponsmithing), you need only pay ¼, rather than ⅓, the cost of the weapon; furthermore, your progress is twice as fast, determined by multiplying your successful check by its DC and then multiplying by 2. Each time you roll this (including the first time) you've had enough free time and luck to custom-craft one weapon for your hand and fighting style, allowing you a +1 to hit and damage with that weapon.

93-94: These people have no clue what's out there. Your scars, tattoos and monstrous speech speak of exotic lands and distant adventure to the gullible folk of civilized lands. +2 Bluff to lie about where you've been or what you've seen to any of these so-called "sophisticates"--they'll believe anything. +2 more each time you re-roll this.

95-96: The spirits of earth and air know your name--and are beginning to wish they did not. +1 to save vs any cleric or druid spell, +2 if you have personally slain a holy person of that faith. +1 more each time you re-roll this.

97-98: There is a reason this axe is this big. On a successful hit you may distribute the damage rolled between any two targets within reach so long as they have an equal or lesser armor class to the one you just hit. Every time you re-roll this you get one more target up to a maximum of 5.

99: Re-roll on the Jadiliyya Fatalist ranger table.

00: Re-roll on the Jadiliyya Fatalist fighter table.  

Rashima's Appearance (50 xp)

Rashima is albino, her skin is almost glows (not quite but close) in the night. Her hair has a touch of silver color to it, but not much. Her eyes are also pale, she looks blind even though she's not. She's rather small and lithe in form. She wears very simplistic, low-end clothing, she sees no use in anything more than needed anyway. In her “true” form (as an anthropomorphic fox) cloths are not needed (or wanted; she has fur, that's more than enough for her). The most noticeable detail is that she has two tails (possibly three if I can level up :3).  

Rashima's Character Background (673 words = 200 xp + 75 “floating” xp = 275 xp total)

Me: Hello, because I'm best at dialog format, that is what I'll be using here. This may change later but it should help me “see” my character. So, Rashima, say hello!

Rashima: Hello there, everyone.

Me: Now that we have that out of the way, why don't you tell us about your past?

Rashima: Of course. I am Rashima, born of the Starlit Tribe. I was fated to be the next leader of the tribe as I had the mark of an oracle.

Me: Because I like to over explain things; the, “mark of an oracle” is basically being albino. Usually the leader is a normal kitsune, and it's whomever takes up the role and can get the others to fallow. It's rare but when albinos pops up, well, albino kitsune are pretty pampered in the Starlit Tribe.

Rashima: I was not pampered per say, I was trained to use my gift to it's fullest. While it is true I was not trained as much in hunting; I was often learning how to read the stars and how to invoke what was fated. Life... was exasperating at times. I was young but many of the tribe already looked to me for guidance. My teacher, the leader at the time, was not fated as I. He often told me to be patient; that my skills would naturally come as I grew. However, I was under the strong belief I did not have time to wait. I... what I read was not the stars that night. I read too far... I spoke too much. I am not sure what it was I had said, some... creature was controlling me, only long enough to call upon those... monsters.

Me: ...Hey, you okay?

Rashima: ...Yes. I am fine. I had gotten what I was hunting that night. My powers had developed and I had grown a second tail. I had learned how to read the fates through the stars. But at the cost of my tribe. Those creatures slaughtered the Starlit Tribe. I believe I was the one to send them back but it was hard for me to tell at the time. They had left. I... I was lost.

Me: Yeah, after that she basically wandered around until she fainted from exhaustion. Or possibly dehydration. Still, she was half-dead when Haleen found her.

Rashima: Hm, I suppose so... I certainly did not feel well when I regained consciousness. I awoke in Haleen's care. Only she knows of my true form. Haleen helped me learn how to work as a city dweller and how to fit in (as much as one marked as I could). She encouraged me not to simply give up on my practices as an oracle. It is because of her I am here now, as fate has shown. I was... concerned when she started to act strangely. She has a very confidant, cheerful disposition; as well as strong-willed and perhaps hot-tempered at times. It was disconcerting when her attitude shifted, she became sullen and seemed rather troubled. I... did not believe she had ever kept secrets from me... I chose not to pry into the matter. Perhaps this was my second mistake.

One night she had simply vanished. She left a note but... the words were wrong. It... The words written were not constructed in a way she would honestly use. It was her handwriting but those could not have been her words. I am unsure as to what had caused her to leave, but it was not of her own freewill. I have only recently found a hint as to her whereabouts. While reading what I could in the stars I saw Haleen. She... She is in a place called kel-Maraneh. I may not know why but I am sure that she is there, or at least was recently.

This is why I have joined Garavel's group. It... I had to pull a few... strings to convince them. But I must find Haleen.

...Even if I must work with monsters.

Another thing happily stolen from Zak Sabbath

Where The Hell Have You Been, Flake?

Roll d100 or d100 per session missed or d100 per in-game week or month missed, depending on what's appropriate for your campaign. When the table calls for a "random NPC" or "random aristocrat" you can use any random NPC table you like. (Contents of this table adapted, quoted and largely bit from the work of Stephen Abrams and Jon Everson with a little bit added and a lot speedified by Zak Sabbath. If they or any relevant copyright holders have a problem with that I'll take it down.)

1-7 You are offered a dangerous mission. Offered= number just rolled x200 gp for it. Now choose whether to decline or accept the mission. If you decline, that's it. If you accept, there is a 35% chance of death. Roll. If you survived, you also gain 100 x D20 experience points.

8-12 You've been sick. Spend 20 minus your constitution score x 100 on keeping yourself supplied and in comfort. If that's more than you've got or you're a cheapskate subtract d4 from all physical stats for today.

Results 13-23 in bold indicate you offended someone, roll d6 to see who: 1- Random aristocrat 2-3 random NPC commoner, 4-rumormonger who damages your local rep (-2 to local charisma rolls), 5-someone who cursed you (roll a random curse), 6-an entertainer who satirizes you (-2 to local charisma rolls)
13-Bumped into them on the street
15-Imagined slight
16-protocol error, bad manners, or lack of respect
17-interfered w/ plans
18-NPC jealous of PC's success
19-NPC doesn't like how PC looks
20-NPC was just in a bad mood
21-religious argument
22-NPC jealous of PC's spouse, family, lover , etc.
23-NPC misunderstands PC

24-29 Accused of crime, charisma roll to escape conviction. If convicted, pay d8x100 gold to get out. If you don't have it or are a cheapskate you are a fugitive from justice starting now.

30 You have been doing research. Make an intelligence roll. If successful, you may ask the DM one question about any current mystery in the campaign and s/he must give you at least a clue, if not the answer.

31-35 Thieves. Lose d% of your cash.

36-38 A friend of yours (a random common NPC) offended someone. Roll d6 and consult the red text above to see who. If you don't help your friend, there is an 85% chance to offend him, If you do help him, the offended party is now offended by you as well.

39 A friend of yours (a random aristocrat) offended someone. Roll d6 and consult the red text above to see who. If you don't help your friend, there is an 85% chance to offend him, If you do help him, the offended party is now offended by you as well.

40 A family member of yours offended someone. Roll d6 and consult the red text above to see who. If you don't help this family member, there is an 85% chance to offend him/her, If you do help the offended party is now offended by you as well.

41-48 You made a new friend. Roll a random common NPC contact.

49-50 Long lost family member shows up. Friendly. Roll a random occupation for him/her.

51 You made a new friend. Roll a random aristocrat contact.

52 Offer of marriage from (Roll random NPC) of lower social status. Wedding, should you choose to accept it, is in d4 days. If you accept, roll d100: less than 15 means a family member killed you in your sleep, more than 75 means you receive that number x20 in dowry/gifts.

53 Offer of marriage from (Roll random NPC) of same status. Wedding, should you choose to accept it, is in d4-1 weeks. If you accept, roll d100: less than 15 means a family member killed you in your sleep, more than 50 indicates you receive that number x100 in dowry/gifts.

54 Offer of marriage from (Roll random NPC) of higher status. Wedding, should you choose to accept it, is in 2d10 weeks. If you accept, you have offended two random aristocrats and receive d100 x 300 gp in dowry/gifts.

55-57 Dude, someone just gave you d20x100 gp.

58 You are under surveillance by an assassin.
59 You are under surveillance by a spy of a foreign power.
60-61 You are surveillance by thieves casing your place to steal stuff.
62-65 You are under surveillance by the town watch
66 You aren't under surveillance but think you are.

67 You return to action with a mysterious glint in your eye. During this session (and this session only) you may totally pull some crazy, situation-specific bullshit out of your ass to save everyone in a desperate situation ("oh, I have an extra crossbow right here...") but only if you can entirely explain how you ended up with this item/ability/characteristic, etc. in 15 seconds realtime or less. And you can only use it once.

68-69 You got mugged (lose whatever you regularly carry) and tossed into debtor's prison by cops who assumed you were a beggar. Gain a criminal record and d12 x 10 lice.

70-72 You got mugged (lose whatever you regularly carry).

73 You witnessed a secret ceremony. DM figure this out or just roll one of the local religions and assume their pissed at the PC for the foreseeable.

74 You help out some fancy type. Receive a title (d4: 1-duke/duchess 2-Baron/baroness 3-Lord/Lady 4-Knight--Sir or Dame)

75 Your living quarters become infested with vermin.

76 A small bug befriends you. You choose what kind.

77 A small, useless, dumb furry animal (no stats) befriends you. Pick what kind.

78 Somebody gives you a horse. It had a badass name of your choice and maximum stats for a warhorse.

79-81 Recruiting push: You may join the military as an enlisted soldier.

82 You may join the military and get up to the rank of NCO before the next adventure starts

83 You may join the military and become a commisioned officer before the next adventure starts

84 Your place burned down. roll d100: under 50, you saved your stuff, 50-95 you saved a random half of it.

85 You learned to speak a new language (but not read it) pick!

86 You learned to read a new language (but not speak it) pick!

87 Someone asks to be your servant for 4 gp a week. They're pretty cool, it seems like.

88 You meet the person of your dreams. There is a 40% chance that he/she feels the same about you, and a 25% chance that he/she already is married.

89 You have a dream. Roll 1D8: on a result of 1, a deity tells you of a quest that you must undertake. There is a 40% chance that this dream comes from a god. If it does, and if you ignore it, there is a 60% chance that the displeased god kills you. On a 2, you see your own death, which so distracts you that for the next four weeks you treated any successful befriendings as offendings, instead. On a 3-5, you have a prophetic vision which so catches you up in worrying and telling people about it that there is a 20% chance you lose your job if you have one. On a 6, the dream was so involved that you slept the entire day, with a 30% chance you lost your job if you have one. (This one is awesome and verbatim from the book)

90 You are asked to write a book detailing your adventures for publication. A handsome advance is offered: d20x 100 gp.

91 You discover an amazing new recipe for mince pie.

92 You are complemented on your shoes. It goes to your head. -2 to charisma checks because you just keep talking about them but +2 to hit and +3 to damage against anyone who insults them.

93 The town watch or other police agency enters your living quarters. Roll 1D10: on a result of 1-3, they are looking for a fugitive; on 4-7, they are searching for contraband or stolen items; on 8, they are conducting a census; on 9-10, they are thieves casing your house

94 Your place is condemned. You have 2d6 days to find a new one. If, like so many adventurers, you lack a permanent residence, then you have accidentally dyed your hair a color to be decided by the player to your left and don't have time to dye it back.

95 You have a major argument with a spouse, lover, or random intimate you just met. Roll charisma. Failure indicates a woman scorned. Or a man. Or whatever.

96 Death in the family. Pick a family member to die. If they're an NPC already active in the game, the DM can choose to overrule you, and pick someone else.

97 As 96. Plus you are expected to be at the funeral.

98 You have been impressed into the military. You can join, become a fugitive, or buy them off for 1d6x100 gp.

99 Called into court as a witness, you have a 30% chance of being offered a bribe of 1D6 x50 gold pieces to speak in favor of a guilty defendant. Roll a random NPC,to learn who is on trial. If you testify against him/her, there is a 25% chance s/he is offended. If you help him, there is a 35% chance that you will befriend him. GAMEMASTER NOTE: if the player-character lies to free the defendant, there is a chance that others might take special interest in the player-character.

00 You have an accident. Roll 1D10: on a result of 1-2, you received bruises that will last 1D4 weeks; on 3-4, you were seriously burned and should treat the incident as an illness for 1D6 weeks (see 8-12 above) and you lose 10% of your charisma, appearance, physical beauty, etc.; on 5-6, you suffered a major cut or a lost a tooth, etc., reducing your charisma, appearance, physical beauty by 20%; on 7, you broke a bone requiring 1D6 weeks recovery; on 8-10, in addition to bruises and burns as above you must pay 1D20 x10 gold pieces for damages or be accused of a crime.

Carousing (stolen, I believe, from Zak Sabbath)

Carousing occurs only at the end of a session, assuming that the session ends in town or in some other location where it is reasonably safe to assume carousing can occur. This serves two metagame masters. First, it pushes the party to end every session in a situation which can easily account for missing players in the next session. Second, carousing at the end gives the DM time to write up the necessary info (if any) for the carousing result before the next session starts.

Normally, PCs will only get x.p. for monsters, cookies, and awesome in-game world creation. However, once in town (or some other such area), they may trade g.p. for x.p. by blowing it on various forms of strong drink.

Exchange rate is 1 to 1 and must be exchanged in chunks of at least 100 g.p. per PC. Resulting x.p. is divided evenly among the players. However, for every (total # of PCs) x 100 x.p. exchanged, one member of the party (the party may choose who) must carouse excessively. The excessive carouser must then roll d40 (d4 for tens digit and d10 for ones digit) on the Carousing Mishaps Table below. Complex results are resolved at the beginning of the next session:

Carousing Mishaps Table

10 & 11: Make a fool of yourself in public. Gain no XP. Roll Charisma check or gain reputation in this town as a drunken lout.

12: Involved in random brawl. Roll Strength check or start adventure d3 hit points short.

13 & 14: Minor misunderstanding with local authorities. Roll Charisma check. Success indicates a fine of 2d6 x 25gp. Failure or (inability to pay fine) indicates d6 days in the pokey.

15: Romantic entanglement. Roll Wisdom check to avoid nuptials. Otherwise 1-3 scorned lover, 4-6 angered parents.

16: Gambling losses. Roll the dice as if you caroused again to see how much you lose. (No additional XP for the second carousing roll.)

17 & 18: Gain local reputation as the life of a party. Unless a Charisma check is failed, all future carousing in this burg costs double due to barflies and other parasites.

19: Insult local person of rank. A successful Charisma check indicates the personage is amenable to some sort of apology and reparations.

20: You couldn’t really see the rash in the candlelight. Roll Constitution check to avoid venereal disease.

21: As 20, but more virulent.

22: New tattoo. 1-3 it’s actually pretty cool 4 it’s lame 5 it could have been badass, but something is goofed up or misspelled 6 it says something insulting, crude or stupid in an unknown language.

23: Beaten and robbed. Lose all your personal effects and reduced to half hit points.

24: Gambling binge. Lose all your gold, gems, jewelry. Roll Wisdom check for each magic item in your possession. Failure indicates it’s gone.

25 & 26: Hangover from hell. First day of adventuring is at -2 to-hit and saves. Casters must roll Int check with each spell to avoid mishap.

27 & 28: Target of lewd advances turns out to be a witch. Save versus polymorph or you’re literally a swine.

29: One of us! One of us! You’re not sure how it happened, but you’ve been initiated into some sort of secret society or weird cult. Did you really make out with an emu of was that just the drugs? Roll Int check to remember the signs and passes.

30: Invest all your spare cash (50% chance all gems and jewelry, too) in some smooth-tongued merchant’s scheme. 1-4 it’s bogus 5 it’s bogus and Johnny Law thinks you’re in on it 6 actual money making opportunity returns d% profits in 3d4 months.

31: Wake up stark naked in a random local temple. 1-3 the clerics are majorly pissed off 4-6 they smile and thank you for stopping by.

32: Major misunderstanding with local authorities. Imprisoned until fines and bribes totaling d6 x 1,000gp paid. All weapons, armor, and magic items confiscated.

33: Despite your best efforts, you fall head over heels for your latest dalliance. 75% chance your beloved is already married.

34 & 35: When in a drunken stupor you asked your god(s) to get you out of some stupid mess. Turns out they heard you! Now as repayment for saving your sorry ass, you’re under the effects of a quest spell.

36 & 37: The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! Accidentally start a conflagration. Roll d6 twice. 1-2 burn down your favorite inn 3-4 some other den of ill repute is reduced to ash 5-6 a big chunk of town goes up in smoke. 1-2 no one knows it was you 3-4 your fellow carousers know you did it 5 someone else knows, perhaps a blackmailer 6 everybody knows.

38: Random pub brawl. Whole party faces number of brawlers = # of PCs. Resolve as normal combat but overcarousing PC is at -2 for being drunk.

39 & 40: Wake up in bed with someone... roll on subtable below.

41: Gambling losses. Gain o x.p..

42 & 43: Insult Local Person of Rank (roll on subtable below).

44: New tattoo (roll d6 1-PC chooses 2-DM chooses 3-player to your left chooses 4-player to your right chooses 5-player 2 to the right chooses 6-player 2 to the left chooses).

45: 2 thieves set upon PC while s/he is alone. Resolve as normal combat but PC is at -2 for being drunk.

46: You wake up with only your armor and, on a successful wisdom check, your most prized posession.

47: You've joined a local organization--you remember the passwords and secret signs (for Vornheim, roll on subtable below).

48: Wake up stark naked in local temple, roll a D4 (for Vornheim) on the Local Organizations table to determine which of Vornheim's four temples.

49: There was something in that drink. You are smitten with (roll on subtable below) for d10 days.

Local Organizations Subtable (location-specific)

Local Person of Rank Subtable (d8)

1: Priest of most important local deity (Vorn, in this case)

2: Local monarch

3: Tavern owner

4: Chief of the constabulary/local military

5: Court wizard

6: Court librarian

7: Random local noble, female

8: Random local noble, male

Wake Up In Bed/Smitten Subtable (d12)

1: Succubus

2: Dead albino elf

3: Apparently normal attractive member of orientation-appropriate gender

4: Randomly determined other PC (neither remembers anything)

5: S/he's ugly. You're married.

6: (Roll again on this table.) You're married.

7: Lizard woman who loves you

8: Halfling

9: Most important NPC in game

10: Your exact double

11: Roll on "Local Person of Rank" table

12: Priest/ess of...Roll d10 on Local Organizations Subtable

Finally! The real homework xp awards!!!!

Remember, it is your responsibility to find ways to bring this homework into actual play. I will help and will try to incorporate what I can, but the rest is up to you. Meta-discussion of how you would like to bring it into play (e.g., "I think it would be awesome if my demon-worshiping brother was our guild contact") is highly welcome! Also, you only gain the experience points when the homework is posted to this blog; excepting the extra xp for coolness and other such value judgments, you can just log the new experience when you post.


EXPERIENCE WHICH CAN BE EARNED BEFORE MARCH 5TH, 2013

Character Background - Up to 350 xp

Create a convincing character background. For every two words of story that are written, your character gets one experience point, to a maximum of 200 xp. There are an additional 150 xp floating around for interesting ideas, amusing incidents and the number of useable adventure hooks.

Character Appearance - Up to 100 xp

A written description of your character is worth 50 xp. A picture, either hand-drawn or photocopied from another source, is worth an additional 50 xp.

Create an NPC - 150 xp.

Create a description of somebody your character has very strong feelings about. Perhaps an enemy, a long lost love, a family member, etc. Your character gets 1xp for every two words written, to a maximum of 100. Providing a picture or written description of the NPC is worth an additional 50 xp.

Questionnaire - up to 250 xp

Complete a questionnaire on behalf of your character. Give as short or long an answer as you wish. The base experience point award will be 150 points (5 per question answered), but there will be a bonus of 100 xp for imaginative, amusing or particularly insightful answers.

1. Who is the most important person in your life?
2. Where do you want to be in 20 years time?
3. What are you most scared of?
4. What makes you happy?
5. What is your idea of a good evenings entertainment?
6. If you were not an adventurer, what would you be?
7. What item would you not live without?
8. When was the last time you cried?
9. When do you want to have children?
10. If you were an animal, what would you be?
11. What is your favorite bard song?
12. Do you prefer the town or the country? Why?
13. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
14. If made to decide, would you rather be deaf or blind? Why?
15. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?
16. If you had to describe yourself in five adjectives, what would they be?
17. How do you want to die?
18. What is the worst thing someone has done to you?
19. Who do you admire?
20. How much is a pint of mead?
21. How old are you?
22. What was your family life like?
23. Where are you from?
24. How did you become the character class you are?
25. When did you meet your companions?
26. How has power changed you?
27. What do you think of mortals?
28. What motivates you to be a hero?
29. Who or what do you worship?
30. What would drive you to commit murder?

Recent History - 200 xp

There is only one limitation on your recent history - it ends with you  being hired by Garavel to join the caravan attempting to reclaim kel-Maraneh. Write about your character's thoughts of the two months leading up to this event. You should describe their feelings of the current situation and what positive and negative things have happened to them. Maybe they would like to comment on how your character feels about being sent to a new and strange area. You get 1xp for every two words written, up to a maximum of 200 xp

Home Region - up to 300 xp.

Detail your characters homeland/village/suburb/tribe. The campaign world is still pretty open to player invntion at the moment. Go crazy and do whatever you want. Up to 100 xp will be awarded for a map of the region, while up to 200 xp will be awarded for a description of the area, its local history and government, as well as a general idea of important NPC’s of the region. There is no real favoritism displayed on the type of region you choose. Writing about a small town is worth just as much as a general country/ society overview.

TOTAL EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE:  13450 xp (!)


EXPERIENCE WHICH CAN BE GAINED BETWEEN SESSIONS AFTER MARCH 5, 2013

Party Relationship - up to 100 xp.

This task can only be completed after the first session. Write a paragraph or two on how your character feels about each of the other individuals in the group. You get awarded 1 xp for every two words written, to a maximum of 100 xp.

Journalling - up to 400 xp

Write something describing the events of the previous session or any other session previous, provided you haven't journalLed it already.  Include character reactions and such.  1 xp per 2 words, maximum 400 xp.

Repeated Assignments - Varies

Between sessions, you can repeat ONE and only ONE of the assignments in the first section of this document for the same number of xp.  You can repeat any of the assignments at any time (i.e., if after the first session, you create a second NPC, you can still describe your home region after third session), and you can only gain the xp if the assignment is significantly different than any of the previous versions of the assignment (meaning that the questionnaire is unlikely to be often repeated).

TOTAL EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE:  500+ xp per inter-session period


EXPERIENCE TO BE GAINED IN PLAY

Cookies - up to 150 xp

Every player is given ONE and only ONE cookie at the beginning of every session.  They may not eat this cookie.  It is to give to someone who did something they thought was cool.  They may NOT give it to themselves.  Each cookie is worth 50 xp at first level.

Food - 50 xp

If a player brings food for the group (and I mean both enough and of the right nature to be consumed by the entire group), they gain 50 xp.

Character Conflict – 25 xp

Every character has an inherent character conflict, intended to push them to blend the story I as DM prepare with a character growth arc.  If a player brings this conflict into play during a session, they gain 25 xp.

Critical Failure – 10+ xp

Whenever a player rolls a critical failure, they gain 10 xp, plus 1 xp for each subsequent “level” of critical failure (i.e., for each “1” rolled after the first)

Critical Success – 5+ xp

Whenever a player rolls a critical success, they gain 5 xp, plus 1 xp for each subsequent “level” of critical success (i.e., for each “20” rolled after the first)

TOTAL EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE:  225+ xp


INCREASED EXPERIENCE AWARD BY LEVEL

To reflect the fact that the number of experience points necessary to advance in level increases each level, certain of these awards (player relationship, journalling, cookies, food, character conflict, critical failure, and critical success) will increase in size by 25% each level.

For example, the maximum xp award for a party relationship is as follows (this just so happens to also be the percentage by which the other awards can be multiplied):
1st level:  100 xp
2nd level: 125 xp
3rd level: 156 xp
4th level:  195 xp
5th level:  244 xp
6th level:  305 xp
7th level:  381 xp
8th level:  476 xp
9th level:  596 xp
10th level:  745 xp
11th level:  931 xp
12th level:  1164 xp
13th level:  1455 xp
14th level:  1818 xp
15th level:  2276 xp
16th level:  2842 xp
17th level:  3552 xp
18th level:  4440 xp
19th level:  5551 xp
20th level:  6938 xp